…but it’s not just any tulip This tulip has striped petals, genetic rarity, and according to the guy in the tavern, it once made eye contact with the King. 👑🌷

Sure, now I live in a barrel next to a canal, and my kids think “real estate” is a medieval rumor, but when this bulb moons, I’ll be bathing in vintage wine and hiring peasants to fan me with tax-free tulip leaves. 💸💨

Do I regret it?

Only when it rains. And the tulip looks at me funny.
But other than that? WAGB — We Are Gonna Bloom. 🌷🚀